I've been thinknig. As we go through life, we make mistakes. We make ourselves into fools at times, and we tend to have a lot of bad memories. We lose friendships over stupid, or legit reasons and life as it is becomes  something else. Well, I've made a lot of mistakes. I've done a lot of people wrong. I feel like right now, it's all biting me in the ass. I see my wrongs now; how I took sides with deamons for pleasure, rather angels for love. How I've given into every temptation, and never risted for the bigger glory. I've never given sacrifice. I've played the game, but never felt the pain. What I've felt has always been miniscule, and childish. Then, when I lost Skylar...I realized something. That was the last relationship I'd ever be in that would be easy. No longer am I just a Highschool kid, but an adult. Living in the real World. College has changed be for the better, and I know it because every day, everday I am learning something about myself. How I was a fool to ever care what people thought. How I was ignorant to ever think that I needed to change my personality from person to person. How I was a bilgerant boob to be so shallow, to be so cold, to not see the beauty in what I had had. What I've learned is people can change, people can hurt, and people will grow.

   I am not who I was. I see that now. I know people won't know that. I know my friends will always see me as I was in Highschool. I'm fine with that. Because in reality, I've never seen them as my friends. They've always been friends of my friends. I have maybe 10 friends at most. Three of which I love dearly, and would do anything for. Not because we mix well, or because of the length of our friendship...but that the friendship has lasted that long. That they've always accepted me for who I was, and knew I wasn't the "pretend" that everyone else saw.

   Maybe this will be read by some of the people I know. Maybe not. It doesn't matter. I'm leaving my past where it belongs. Behind me. I'm going forward. I'm not dwindling on what I was, who I was, or where I was. Because that's all changed now. I'm all changed now.I'm older, wiser, smarter, and craftier. I need to feel that...

  So, I'm moving out in a month. Maybe I'll make friends in my new classes, have them over and start new friendships. Because honestly, I'm sick of my old friends. They bring up too many memories, too many what-ifs, and too much conflict.

   To those of you who I still cherish...
   Ahmed. Thankyou for everything. From the inside jokes, to the ridiculous conversations. From the nights of gaming and heart to heart chats, to the random conversations we'd have in public just to get reactions. You've become my best friend in so many ways....and nobody is more a friend to me than you.

  Nicole. I love that we can not talk for months, and out of the blue have a Nicole Kyle day, and it be like old times without any weirdness. You really are one of the coolest kids I've ever met. You've always accepted me for being weird, strange, and ignorant. I think you're the main reason I've tried to grow up. Thankyou.

   Jeff Lamble. You're a little bitch, but without you...I'd be a scarwny ass hoe. I would never be able to accept it when people steal my "Leather armor". lol. But seriously, you've always been good to talk to. Every time we've hung out it's been a great time too, it's never dull. So, I thankyou as well for your freindship.

The others; Sean, Tyler, Ben, Keegan, my brother, and Lydia....you also mean so much. I'm just too lazy to write more shout outs.

That's all.

The reds and yellows shine so very bright,
but the blues are the hues that are truly in sight,
The sun is fading to another home,
and the darkness of night creates a dome,
Engulfing all that is day,
Swallowing every last sun ray,
Turning what was once bright and glowing,
into a black coal for the midnight showing,
Shade and shadow begin to fade,
beneath the footsteps of the nightly raid,
Cool becomes cold,
Today becomes old,
Tomorrow comes over the horizon,
and the present becomes the forgotten.